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Ever need to get the name of that movie with that one actor? Ever need to know something you didn't about 80's music? How about sports knowledge that shouldn't be stored in one's brain? I'm that guy and this is my way of dealing with my problem.

Monday, January 31, 2011

I did your mom and made it a chain status on facebook...

Wine can be red, the sky can be blue. If you have a great friend, then re-post this too! Then you get the incredible urge to throw your computer across the room. It's bad enough to hear how you finished your p90x and feel ripped, or your stunning revelation about some obscure sport that makes you feel like a rebel. NOTHING however compares to the chain status. I mean I even get suckered from time to time. Who can pass on one of the cancer status updates that has known someone that has fought that awful disease. But I digress, the real enemy is the hallmark posts. You know what I'm talking about. We all have that friend that is a piece of shit deep down who keeps posting daily affirmations about how "blessed" and "wonderful" their life is. You see on facebook you get a nice double dip in asshole. It's bad enough knowing this idiot is a fraud in real life. Now you have a virtual reminder of what a fake, rotten puke they are. It's like facebook is a separate identity to them and they can try to lead us all to a false pretense yet again. To be fair, it doesn't stop with the hallmark posters... I'm looking at you party people! Let's get a few more pictures of you acting like you are part of the Jersey Shore gang. The one small difference is that a tv show makes being a whore or a dick look better than a social network. You just end up looking like trash. The more you think about it, the more it just looks like a second life. Some of us just choose to be as fake the second time around as we did the first time. The Catholic Church got rid of purgatory and God created Facebook.

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