The Useless Information Society
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- Scott Woodside
- Ever need to get the name of that movie with that one actor? Ever need to know something you didn't about 80's music? How about sports knowledge that shouldn't be stored in one's brain? I'm that guy and this is my way of dealing with my problem.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Heart Attack Grill: Love Deep Fried
Let's face it America, fat people love food. I should know, I am one of them! In this politically correct age of taking offense to everything, we finally have found some sensitivity and love. The Heart Attack Grill in Arizona has just what the fat doctor ordered! Their menu is simple with a choice of the single, double, triple, or quadruple bypass burgers. Maybe you want a side with that? How about some Flatliner Fries cooked in pure lard. Then you can polish that all off with a heart murmur inducing Jolt Cola. If that leaves you wanting more, well you can follow that meal with a non-filter pack of Lucky Strikes! It gets even better if you top 350 pounds you eat for free! That's right, for free! Talk about knowing your audience! Dr. Jon is personally guaranteeing results for all of us. I don't know about you, but I have something to shoot for now. Of course the nay sayers have been trying to tear the good doctor down. They say he is promoting poor health and habits. To them I say, "We are all adults here! I have already developed my bad habits on the way to hitting that 350 pound mark. Who are you to deny me the free meal?" We have been offered "change" and we have been promised many things by our leaders. Rarely do they deliver or follow through on their promises. So don't go pointing a finger at Dr. Jon! He is just rewarding people who love what they do. That is eating our way down the road to that big Mcdonalds in the sky. Let's let them get a free sandwich on the way out.
P.S.- The author of this article is not quite at the 350 pound mark but is willing to take on the extra weight for monetary gain.